


lovesick

by frankoceanic



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-09-01
Packaged: 2018-12-18 01:54:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11864205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frankoceanic/pseuds/frankoceanic
Summary: Kim Jongin is wed off to crime lord Kim Minseok in order to keep his father's organization afloat.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote the first 10K of this a few months ago and then refused to touch it because I hated it, but I eventually came back cause I missed the dynamic I made. This is excessively long for no fucking reason. Some smut towards the end. Enjoy.

The hotel was owned by Mr. Kim. It had been inherited to him by his father, and then his father. The hotel was one of the most wealthiest in the city, maybe even the state and Jongin felt lucky enough to be in it, aside from the fact of his current situation. The tuxedo had been his own father’s treat, saying he’d look a little older in it, not that it even mattered anyway. The ballroom was filled with people, mainly with people that Jongin had never seen in his life, but the faces of his father’s “associates” stuck out like a sore thumb.

The reason for Jongin’s estate was that this was his wedding night. And his husband (that he’d only just met a few weeks ago) was the owner of this hotel and six others in the city, and he was sitting across the room with Jongin’s father, and their associates. Men like them came from the bottom, but not by doing legal activities.

Jongin had gotten the news about a month ago. He was to be wed off to Kim Minseok, a man of high power in the city and probably one of the coldest people you'd ever meet. When Jongin had met him, Mr. Kim had only bowed, smiling softly while still looking like he could snap anyone in half, and said, “It's so nice to finally meet you.”

The month before the wedding consisted of Jongin throwing tantrums left and right; threatening to call the police on his father for his illegal tendencies, but he never did. That threat was always thrown around, but he never reached for a phone. “He's a decent man.” His father had said. “Besides, kid, if you don't marry him, he plummets me and my entire organization into the ground and we go broke. Imagine what that would do to your mother.”

So Jongin married, reluctantly, but it couldn't be that bad right? Being married to probably the second most powerful man in the city couldn't be that bad. Jongin felt someone press a finger against his back and he turned around to find a small woman grinning at him, “I'm Mr. Kim’s assistant. He requests you in his office.” Jongin looks over at the table and finds that he's nowhere to be found. His father is there though. Jongin nods at her, getting up and following her through the crowd of people talking and dancing. His office is down a flight of stairs from the main ballroom. She opens the door for him and then shuts it once he’s inside.

“Hello.” He says. He's sitting on the other side of his desk. His tie is still done neatly while Jongin’s had slipped undone and he’d loosened a few times.

“Hi, Mr. Kim.” Jongin says, bowing slightly.

He smiles, real small and asks for him to sit. Even the fucking chair feels expensive. “You don't have to call me that, you know. Minseok is fine.”

“Oh, I know. I just don't want to appear disrespectful, Mr. Kim.” Jongin says, smiling the smile he knows will probably win him over.

Mr. Kim nods, “You’re my husband now, aren't you?” Jongin presses his lips together. “Aren't you?” The repeated question sounds a little more stern, so Jongin straightens his back and says, yes. “Call me Minseok then.”

“Yes, Minseok.” Jongin says.

“Okay, I'm sorry to pull you from the party out there, although I glanced at you a few times and you didn't look very happy, but I feel like we should talk about what's happening here.” Minseok says, sounding so professional that Jongin thinks about laughing, but he bites his tongue. “Your father, although a close friend of mine, decided to join our organizations. It is for the best, and to assure that your father won't pull out at last minute, I asked for you. And here we are.”

“Yes, Minseok. I know about the terms.”

“Yes, Minseok.” Minseok says, smiling at him. “You're awfully polite.”

“Only when I have to be.”

That earns a laugh from him, but he quickly says, “He owes me money, I'm sure you know. I have the power to completely obliterate his organization, but he started thinking a little smarter and that's where you came in. It was a mutual agreement between your father and I.”

“I'm aware.”

“Do you have an apartment?”

“No. I… I live with my parents while I finish my first year at the community college. I couldn't afford to live on campus.” Jongin feels embarrassed, but Minseok just nods.

“You can live with me, then.”

Jongin felt a little lightheaded. “I'm sorry? Live with you? Do I have to?”

Minseok looks away from his computer screen and Jongin immediately regrets asking. His eyes cut right through him, “Don't you want to?”

Jongin swallows, “I guess it wouldn't hurt.”

“I'll have someone pick your things up from your parents home in the morning.” Minseok says, moving his gaze back to the computer. Jongin gets up, the feeling of fear pooling slowly into his belly. “Don't look so scared, kid. You think I'm gonna break you or something?”

Jongin forces a smile and bows again, leaving the room slowly but running up the stairs and back into the ballroom. The party dies down after a few hours and then it's time to clean. His father comes up to him just as he’s getting ready to leave, “Don't piss that man off. He's small, but what he lacks in size he makes up for in ruthlessness.”

“That's so comforting.” Jongin rolls his eyes and takes the tie all the way off. “He's not gonna kill me, is he?”

“No.” His father scoffs. “Just act like you always do. This isn't forever, kid.”

“Isn't it, though? Have you seen that man? He's got these eyes that are like knives! They fucking cut into your soul and twist, for fucks sake.” Jongin hisses.

“Let up a little bit on the swearing. He hates it.” His father slaps a hand on his back and sighs. “I love you, you understand?”

“I love you, too.” Jongin says and then his father is off, to sleep in his own bed with someone that he actually knows. Would Minseok make him sleep in the same bed as him? God, would he ask Jongin for something tonight?

Jongin groans and throws his tie on the floor, “Bad night?” He looks up to find Minseok standing a few feet away, still looking primmy as shit in his suit. Jongin doesn't respond. “Get your tie. We’re leaving.” Jongin follows behind him.

When they reach the elevator, Jongin asks, “You live in your own hotel?”

“Sometimes. My house is getting remodeled at the moment and the noise is too much for me.” Minseok says. They stand in the elevator in complete silence until they reach the top floor. It is a nice hotel, Jongin will admit that much. Minseok slides in a card key and opens up two doors. “After you.”

Jongin smiles politely and steps inside. It's a lot bigger than his own house. The bed is to the right, there's champagne in ice on the bedside table. Jongin feels cold suddenly, and starts to figure that Minseok really will want something from him tonight. He's not sure if he's ready for that. “You don't have to sleep in the same bed as me, if that makes you more comfortable. There's another bed through that door,” Minseok points, “right there. There's clothes in there for you, too and a bathroom.”

Relief spreads through his chest. He looks at Minseok and tries to smile, “Thank you, Mr. Kim.”

“You have a good night's rest.” Minseok squeezes his shoulder and turns to go into the bathroom. Jongin lets out a long breath and rubs his eyes.

That night, Jongin sleeps better than he has in months.

  
He's woken by Minseok, looking clean and fresh out of the shower. He's not wearing a suit, but he looks casual and relaxed. “Sleep well?”

Jongin nods, “Did you, Mr. Kim?”

“Fine, thank you.” Minseok offers him two small tablets and some water. Jongin downs them without asking. “I have a few places to go today, would you like to come?”

“Yeah.” Jongin sits up. Minseok leaves the room to allow Jongin to get dressed and brush his teeth and look a little more presentable. He looks at himself in the mirror and sighs. Minseok is on the phone when he enters his side of the room. Jongin tries not to listen but he hears clearly, “You tell that little shit I want my fucking money today. Not tomorrow. Not the next day. I want it today. If I don't have it by five o'clock today, I'm running hell on him and his entire fucking bloodline. Clear?” Another word chirps up from the other end and then he hangs up.

Jongin feels out of place, but Minseok looks him over once, “Well, don't you look nice.”

“In this?”

Minseok tsks, “You look fine. Let's go.”

To Jongin’s surprise, Minseok has his own fucking private driver. Yeah, a whole fucking Cadillac and a driver that opens the door and everything. “This is overwhelming.” Jongin says, not realizing that Minseok is listening. When he sees his confused expression, Jongin scrambles, “Oh! No, I'm sorry. I just meant I've never experienced anything like this. I'm so used to… everything but this.”

Minseok only nods at him, the way you would to a child when they show you a drawing. The car ride to wherever the fuck is longer than expected. Jongin leans against the window and sees the city slip by. “Where are we going?”

“One of my clubs. I have to collect.” Minseok replies.

“You own clubs, too?”

“I own it all, kid.”

Jongin nods, “Then why did you join organizations with my dad? He's not as wealthy as the next guy. He's a second hand drug dealer.”

“Because the whole point of anything in life is wanting more.” Minseok gives him the look that makes Jongin’s throat dry up. “I deal drugs the same as your father, but it's not by my hand. I have people that do that for me. I'm at the top of the food chain,” Minseok smiles, “everyone else is beneath me.”

The club is on the other side of the city, a two story high club named Levels, which doesn't look so thrilling during the day. Jongin thanks the driver and walks behind Minseok, “Come here.” Minseok beckons him, stopping right at the door, “Anyone tries to mess with you in there and they answer to me. Do you understand?”

Jongin nods, “Yes.”

“Okay.” Minseok puts a hand on the small of his back and they walk in together. Music is playing on low volume, but still makes the walls thump. “Wait for me here. I'll be back in a little bit.”

Jongin nods, and sits down at the bar. He gets bored quickly and calls up someone he knows will be available at this hour, “Who's this?”

Jongin smiles, “Nice to hear from you, too, Yeol.”

“Oh! Hi!” Chanyeol laughs. “Sorry. All the shit from my phone got wiped out a few days ago. How are you? How's being married?”

“Not bad, so far. He's really… quiet kind of.” Jongin says. “You didn't come to the wedding.”

There's silence on the other line, but only for a second or two, “I couldn't go. I had a family emergency.”

“Right.” Jongin looks over his shoulder, “I feel out of place with him.”

“How so?”

“He's just… I mean I'm married to a fucking mob boss, practically. He's cold and we’re living in his hotel for the time being because his fucking house is getting remodeled. Remodeled, Chanyeol, like he has enough fucking money to change the inside of his fucking house.” Jongin sighs then, “It's just not what I was expecting of my life at this moment.”

“Have you fucked him yet?”

“Hey!” Jongin hisses. “Are you kidding? He's, like, the last person that would ever let himself get fucked.”

“He's handsome, though. And he holds all this power from everyone in the city. I think it's kind of hot.”

“You also thought that Canada was apart of the United States.”

Chanyeol gives a disapproving sound, “I flunked geography! That's besides the point, listen, this guy that you're suddenly wed off to is prestigious as shit. He's got it made, which means that so do you. Make the best of it. Try to make them laugh. From what I've seen in movies, mob bosses love a partner that makes them laugh.”

“That's everyone, dumbass.”

“Point! Still, he can't be that bad. I gotta go. My pastas burning. Don't call me unless you've had his dick in your mouth!” Before Jongin can hiss, the line clicks and Jongin thumps his head against the bar.

“You must be Mr. Kim’s husband!” Jongin sits up suddenly. A woman not standing taller than five feet stares up at him. “Oh, you're so handsome.”

“Thank you.” Jongin bows, “I'm sorry, but I don't-”

“I'm the owner of the club. I've known Mr. Kim before he became a big player like he is today. Would you like something to drink?” She laughs.

“Oh, I'm okay. Thank you.”

She smiles at him, “It was very nice to meet you. Jongin, is it?” He nods and gives a polite smile. “Mr. Kim should be out any minute.”

Jongin goes back to waiting, mostly with his head leaned against the bar and his arm working as a pillow. He hears a door slam and then sees Minseok walking toward him. “Ready to go?” He asks Jongin, who gets up and nods. “Come on.” Minseok leads Jongin to the car, but doesn't get in. “I have some other things to do and I don't think you should be around for them. My driver will take you to one of my houses on the north side. Make yourself at home. I'll be there later tonight.”

“Mr. Kim!” Jongin says before he can shut the door. Minseok looks at him, “Mr. Kim, are you in trouble? You seem to be in a rush.”

“No, honey, I'm fine. Things are fine. I'll see you tonight.” Minseok shuts the door then. Jongin flops against the seat and scrolls through his phone the entire ride to the north side.

Like everything else he owns, Mr. Kim’s house in the north side is two stories high and wide as shit. Jongin feels overwhelmed when he steps inside. His things are at the bottom of the stairs; his clothes and school supplies placed neatly into boxes and bags. He grabs his things and hauls them up the stairs. At first, he's a little confused on what room to pick, but he ends up picking the one with a view. He unpacks, a little dazed at the thought of actually being here, and explores the house.

There's at least five rooms and three bathrooms, but he didn't have enough energy to count precisely. A pool and an outside bar. “Dear god.” Jongin whispers. He hears his phone vibrating inside and notices it's an unknown number, “Hello?”

“Hi, honey.”

Jongin clears his throat, “Minseok?”

“You have someone else that calls you honey?”

“Not that I know of.”

Minseok laughs, “Enjoying yourself?”

“It's a big house. I can only imagine how big the one you're remodeling is.” Jongin goes into the pantry and looks around. “Your pantry is as big as my old room.”

“I won't be home until very late. Don't stay up for me.”

“Okay. Is everything alright?”

“Everything is fine. I'm just catching up.” Minseok says, and then sounds like he covers the phone to speak to someone else and then in a hurry, “You sleep well.”

Jongin stares at his phone after he hangs up. For the most part, he spends the day swimming, eating and napping on the couch. Chanyeol calls him around nine to ask him how things are, “Sucked his dick yet?”

“I fucking married him yesterday. Jesus, I'm not putting my mouth anywhere on him. He's not even around as much as I thought he’d be.” Jongin hisses. “I'm in a big ass house all on my own.”

“That's what being married to a mob boss is like then, huh? Lonely hours…”

“You're not helping.” Jongin whines. “He's not coming back until late. I mean, not that I want to be around him anyway, but he's nice to look at.”

“He is pretty hot.”

Jongin rolls his eyes, “Can we have one phone call where you don't purposely point out his looks?”

“Hey! This is our second call today! I have a limit and it's sixteen times per day.”

“I'm hanging up.”

+

Jongin busies himself with studying for an exam that he has the coming week which he knows he’ll probably fail. Before he knows it, it’s midnight and he hasn't even showered yet. Quickly, he runs downstairs to shut all the lights out and lock the doors. On his way up, he hears a key going into the front door and twisting. Minseok steps inside, his hair a mess and looking fifty shades of tired. “Home so early?” Jongin finds it in himself to ask, softly. Minseok looks up. “You look…”

“Beat.” Minseok finishes for him. He walks up the stairs and reaches him, “You smell like chlorine. You went into the pool?”

“Yeah. Is that… okay?”

Minseok flashes him a smile, a really small one but nods, “It is your house, too. Do what you like.”

“Do you want to eat? I can cook something.”

“I'm okay. I just need a shower.” Minseok steps aside and walks past him. Jongin hears a door click shut and he quickly paces to his own room across the hall from his and showers.

It goes on like this for the first two months. Jongin goes back to school and flunks a few tests, cries to Chanyeol about it over a burger from their favorite place. He also manages to get to know as much about Minseok as he can. Minseok’s very reserved and he doesn't talk about himself as much as Jongin wish he did. He has a sister that he rarely mentions, parents that he's bickering with and hasn't spoken to in years and at least fourteen houses in the city.

“Minseok!” Jongin says, stepping out of his room, “Minseok!”

“This better be important if you're throwing my name around like that.” Minseok peaks his head out from down the hallway. “What do you need?”

“I can't find my notebook.”

“Which one?”

“The red one. Did I leave it in the Cadillac?” Jongin hurried down the stairs. “Is it in your room?”

“Slow down. I'll find it.” Minseok goes out and comes back with his notebook in his hand. “You should start meeting your actual deadlines instead of leaving your work to the last minute.”

“I think you should let me ruin my college life on my own.” Jongin flashes him a smile and goes into the kitchen, “Chanyeol is coming over later. He's helping me on my dumbass thesis.”

“Nin.” Minseok says, slowly. “Language, come on.”

“Me language? You language! You cuss more than a teenager in Oakland!” Jongin points a finger at him when he notices him coming closer. “Ah, you know I'm right.”

“Chanyeol was coming, you said?” Minseok crosses his arms. Jongin nods. “The same Chanyeol you dated a few years ago?”

“I wouldn't call it dating, but yes.” Jongin notices his expression and laughs, “You're jealous? Of Chanyeol? We dated for a week and then we got tired of being so close all the time that we called it quits. He's my best friend.”

“I'm not jealous. Just asking.”

Jongin squints, looking smug, “You sound jealous.”

“You sound like you're pushing it.”

A knock comes from the front door and Jongin instantly groans, “He's here early, I guess.”

“You're letting him in?”

“I'm not leaving him outside, Minseok.” Jongin goes to the door and opens it. “Are you crazy? Why are you here so early?”

“I brought food. Jesus, how horrible am I for-”

The door is pulled slightly by Minseok and Jongin sighs through his nose, “Chanyeol, I assume?” Minseok smiles at him. Jongin knows that smile, the one he uses when he's a little mad.

Chanyeol stares dumbly and then bows quickly, “We’ve met before but you probably won't remember.”

“Probably not.”

Jongin elbows his side. Chanyeol comes in and the air becomes thick. Minseok hovers for a while and then leaves upstairs. Chanyeol smacks Jongin’s arm, “Are you fucking kidding? He's so-”

“Shut up.” Jongin covers his mouth. “Don't say it. Don't. I swear, Park, I will knock you on your ass so quick-”

“My god. What a man.” Chanyeol whispers when he wrestles Jongin’s hand from his mouth. “I won't say it, but if I were you, I'd jump on that so quick.”

“Nin!” Minseok says from the top of the stairs, “Nin, come here a minute.”

Chanyeol gets that stupid look on his face, “Oh, Nin, come here my little Nin.”

“Shut up!” Jongin gets up and takes the stairs by two. Minseok looking at his watch and counting when Jongin appears in front of him, “Yes, Mr. Kim?”

Minseok rolls his eyes, “I thought you got over that.”

Jongin only smiles wider.

“Some business came up. I have to go. I might be back tonight.”

“Might?”

“I don't know yet. I'll call you if I can't make it back.”

Jongin nods. Minseok kisses his cheek quickly and pets his hair. Jongin watches him walk down the stairs, say bye to Chanyeol and then leave right through the door.

Normally, it happens that way. Minseok has to always leave for something that concerns his business, whether it be because of drugs or money or putting someone in check, it always happened. It was rare when they saw each other a whole entire day because Minseok was always leaving, always getting a call somewhere, always getting summoned. Jongin had hated it at first, bringing it up one night as they sat on the couch watching old reruns of Law & Order. It wasn't Minseok’s fault, really. This was who he was and the territory that came with it.

Minseok became a living and breathing reminder that the life of organized crime would live forever, and Jongin was right in the middle of it.

+

“You ever get tired of him leaving? Even if you don't like him?” Chanyeol asks, munching on a piece of chicken.

Jongin shrugs, “I guess it's a little repetitive. It sucks being alone here all the time, too, but I couldn't do shit about it.”

Jongin and Chanyeol ate in silence, mainly because Chanyeol knew if he said anything else Jongin would lash out. The thesis got finished, even if it was shit, and Chanyeol left sometime around 1AM after three movies and quiet bickering about the pool outside.

Jongin wondered around the house, drifting from room to room until he reached Minseok’s and flopped on to his made bed. Minseok was clean as hell, he hated anything dirty. Jongin whined and curled his arms under the pillows, suddenly feeling something cold against his wrist. “What the shit?” Jongin pulled out a whole roll of condoms. “Oh…”

Within a few minutes, he has Chanyeol on the other line, “You found what?”

“Condoms! A whole fucking roll.” Jongin paces back and forth, the condoms left on the bed. “Why does he have them?”

“You guys aren't…”

Jongin sighs, “No. If he's not fucking me then who is he fucking?”

“Oh, Jongin.” It's meant as a pity statement and Jongin feels sick all over again. “Are you gonna ask him?”

“Of course not. I don't want to start something with him. We’re barely friends.” Jongin stops pacing, staring down the pack of condoms like they'll disappear if he looks hard enough. “Maybe… I don't know, maybe…”

“Don't make excuses for him. Just ask him. What's the worse that could happen?”

“He could yell.” Jongin says. “It takes a lot to piss him off, but this will for sure make him boil. Hey, Minseok, who are you fucking?”

“You think…”

“I hope not.” Jongin bites his lip, “I really hope not.”

Jongin puts the condoms back where he found them and exits the room, retreating to his own to continue his conversation with Chanyeol which mainly consists of him convincing Jongin that he just has them because he figured since they're married, that sex was going to happen eventually.

“He shows no interest in me whatsoever.” Jongin counters. “He doesn't touch me, hasn't tried to make a move or anything!”

“Then you do it, idiot!” Chanyeol hisses. “God, come on, Jongin. You've done this before. You wouldn't get off of me for the week we were together. Just get a little closer to him. I mean, that is if you want that with him?”

Jongin thinks about it, and he realizes that he never really considered feeling a certain way toward Minseok. He was attractive and all, but affectionate? Did he want all that? “I don't know. Maybe.”

“Never know until you try.”

And he does, a few weeks after the condom incident. Minseok is on the couch, watching some French movie when Jongin had barely gotten out of the shower. He was clean and he smelled nice and if Minseok was the slightest bit of attracted to him - vice versa - he’d know. Jongin sat down on the opposite side of the couch, pretending to be interested in his phone instead of the movie or Minseok who seemed completely unaffected by Jongin’s presence.

Jongin crawled over, putting his head down in his lap, his hands shaking a little from the possibility of rejection. Minseok glances down at him, grinning, “You alright?” Jongin nods. Minseok threads a hand in his hair and soothes him. I could die, Jongin thinks, I could die right now and I'd be happy with everything I've done in my life. Jongin dozes off a few times, finding the hands in his hair a soothing way to put him to sleep.

Minseok’s right hand drifts down to his neck and lightly caresses there and that's when something clicks. Maybe it's from the lack of physical contact, but this is nice, and Minseok is nice when he wants to be. Before Jongin can say anything else, Minseok shuts off the TV and taps Jongin on the cheek, “Come on.”

“Carry me.” Jongin whines, lifting his arms into the air.

Minseok does so without complaining. Jongin's a bit taller than he is, so it almost feels like the roles should be reversed.

Jongin feels content when Minseok sets him down on his own bed, and he's thankful that he's sleeping with Minseok tonight. Jongin pulls the covers over his head, but Minseok pulls them down, “What's going on with you, huh?” Minseok puts a hand on his forehead and soothes the hair in his eyes back.

“Nothing.”

“Nothing? You've been acting weird, Nin.”

Jongin winces at the nickname. He shuts his eyes and huffs, “I found condoms under your pillow a few weeks ago. I assumed… I just thought maybe there was someone else and I wanted… I thought I could…”

For a moment, Jongin thinks that he's fucked it up beyond repair. The look on Minseok’s face is unreadable. He moves his hand from Jongin’s face and clears his throat, “The answer is no. There's no one else.”

“Then…”

“You're really gonna make me answer that?”

Jongin feels blood rush all the way down his neck, “Oh.” Chanyeol had been right, for once in his life. “Okay.”

“That's it?”

Jongin nods, “Yes, Mr. Kim.”

Minseok shoots him a glance, “You're never gonna let that go, are you?”

When Jongin shakes his head, Minseok smiles.

+

“I have a bad feeling about this.” Jongin announces suddenly. They're in the Cadillac, Minseok’s about to get up when Jongin spoke up, “I don't belong in there.”

“Come on, honey,” Minseok rubs at his back, “You're with me, aren't you? What are they gonna do?”

“Kill me!”

Minseok rolls his eyes, “I’d like to see them try.”

Jongin sighs and slumps, nudging him to get up and out of the Cadillac. When they step out, a teenage girl greets them. Her smile reaches her eyes as she says, “Mr. Kim. This way, please.” Jongin and Minseok are lead through a whole dining room of people and through a kitchen. They end up in the basement of the restaurant, a place that smells like expensive Cuban cigars and patron. Jongin already regrets coming.

The table is long and wide, and there's already men sitting at it, drinking and laughing and speaking among themselves. Jongin’s father is seated towards the end, rotating dice in his hands. “Jongin!” He beams, practically runs into his arms to hug him. “Look at you! What is he feeding you? You look so healthy.”

“Thank you.” Jongin smiles. “How's mom? I haven't been able to go over there. Schools keeping me busy.”

“She's great. Misses you a whole lot. Chanyeol spends a lot of time over there with your brother, you know. They're becoming really close, those two.” Jongin rolls his eyes. “Aw, come on, you know your brother doesn't go out as much as you do.”

“Waiting for the perfect time to arrange his marriage, too?” Jongin says with some bite.

His father’s face tightens, “Really? You're doing this now?”

“Yes, I'm doing this now.”

“Is he a bad man? Does he mistreat you?”

Jongin bites his tongue because no, Minseok is not a bad man, not to him at least. He's quiet and he rarely ever yells. When he does, it's never towards Jongin. “No.”

“Then?”

“You're missing the point. Look, there it goes. The point just went right over your head.” Jongin points dramatically. “I wanted to choose. I wanted to marry who I wanted to marry, not a stranger.”

“He's still a stranger now?”

“He's my husband, and he's my friend, but I'm not in love with him. That's what marriage is, father. Marriage is mutual love.”

“Are you all just going to sit around like a bunch school girls or are we going to talk business?” A voice booms from somewhere far front of the table. Jongin hovers behind, leaning against the wall with a woman that could easily be one of the men’s wives.

Jongin notices the man at the head of the table. His father had mentioned him a few times. Junmyeon, ironically, was the richest man in the city, Minseok following a close second. Jongin stared down at his feet while they spoke, sometimes a small conversation bursting into a loud argument, which almost always included Minseok and his father. The tension was only growing when a man seated to the right of Minseok hissed, “Shut the fuck up already. You sound like a bunch of dogs barking at each other.”

For some odd reason, Jongin found that funny and he scoffed. The room stilled and he looked up to find every head turned in his direction, including the woman next to him. The man to Minseok’s right says, “Shut up, kid. You're not even supposed to be here.”

“Hey.” Junmyeon warns, holding up a hand, but the guy won't let up.

“The only reason he's here is because he's fucking him,” he points to Minseok and then to his father, “and that's his daddy.”

There's a collective snap and before Jongin realizes it, Junmyeon is leaping out of his chair to pull Minseok off of the man. “Shit.” Jongin whispers. “Shit.”

“Get up.” Junmyeon orders to the man on the floor, “Kris, get the fuck up.”

Minseok dusts his suit off and sits back down. Kris does as well, but he has a hand on his nose, but there's still blood dripping from it. “I'd appreciate,” Minseok begins, “some respect at this table.”

Kris blinks at him, turning to the side to spit blood from his mouth.

“Next time you just as much as mumble a word under your breath about my man, I'll do more than just break your fucking nose.”

+

The ride home is thick with silence. It looms over them like a heavy blanket. Jongin’s looking outside the window when he hears Minseok say something, “Huh?”

Jongin turns to him, and Minseok still looks pissed. He waves him over with a hand, “Come here, baby.” Jongin slides in next to him and drops his head on his shoulder. An arm goes around him to press him in closer. They don't exchange any other words the entire car ride. When they get home, Jongin clings to his arm as soon as they're through the front door.

“I'm sorry.” He says. “I didn't mean for any of that to happen.”

Minseok only looks at him. A sharp feeling sticks in his stomach and he thinks he might start crying with Minseok just looking at him like that, “I really am sorry.”

Jongin sees him waver, look down and clear his throat to straighten himself out, “Don't worry about it.” Minseok starts toward the stairs, walking slower than usual.

“Then why does it feel like you're still so mad at me?” Jongin whines.

“I'm not mad at you.” Minseok turns back. He starts to say something, but instead gives up and says, “Will you drop it?”

Jongin blinks and feels his throat contract, “Okay.” Before he blinks a few times, Minseok is long gone in his own room, the door slammed shut.

That's how it goes, for weeks maybe even a month, door slamming shut, Minseok avoiding Jongin without making it obvious. Sometimes, Jongin would disappear to Chanyeol’s for an afternoon and come back to Minseok sitting by the pool, a glass filled with tequila, and he'd say, “You were out?” As if he hadn't noticed. That only encouraged Jongin to stay out later, hoping to get something out of Minseok.

“No offense, but you're acting so childish.” Chanyeol says once as he serves them each a bowl of ice cream. Jongin clicks his tongue, as if to say, yeah right. “I'm serious. You just want his attention that he won't give because he's mad at you. There's this funny thing that exists in relationships and it's called communication! Maybe you haven't heard of it, it's probably a myth to you.”

“Shut up.” Jongin takes his bowl from him and stuffs his mouth.

“The worst thing you could do is seek him out. Just talk to him.” Chanyeol whines. “And besides, I'm so tired of seeing your stupid pouty face everytime you come over after class. God, you're throwing yourself the fattest pity party.”

“You're just mad I'm here so much which means my brother can't come over.”

Chanyeol shrugs, “You're right.”

“What am I supposed to say to him? I already apologized.” Jongin says. “What's next? I'm supposed to beg on my knees?”

“Or just get on your knees.”

Jongin laughs, “Maybe in your world a blowjob fixes everything but not in mine.”

“Fixed everything when we were together.”

“Chanyeol, we were like eighteen.”

“You were eighteen.” Chanyeol counters. “We’d get in a fight that one week we were together and and what? Bam, either of us were on our knees in a second.”

“It's different with Minseok.” Jongin slumps.

“I'll pretend I'm not hurt.”

Jongin pouts, “You know that's not what I meant.”

Chanyeol grins, “I know. God, just get out of my apartment and go back home and talk to him.”

He debates it for a few minutes, deciding to finish his ice cream first and then leaving.

The lights of the house are all turned off, the door to the backyard left a little open which sends a whistling breeze through the house. Jongin starts up the stairs, “Minseok? Are you home?”

“In here.”

Jongin opens the door to Minseok’s room slowly. He's sitting on the edge of his bed, a few buttons undone to his white dress shirt, his hair looking a bit of a mess from running his hands through it so much. “Hi.” Jongin smiles. Minseok smiles back and puts his head in his hands. “Something wrong?”

“Tired.”

Jongin sits down next to him and tries to find the words to say to him but they get stuck on their way up. He just sits there, quiet as Minseok rubs his eyes and sighs a few times. The silence feels comfortable but there's still that small string of doubt hanging.

“I'm not mad at you.” Minseok says. “I'm not. Whatever it is that you're doing, spending all this time with Chanyeol, it's not working. I'm not mad at you, so stop trying to get a rise out of me.”

Jongin feels like he's about to smile but he curls his lips into his mouth, “Okay.”

“Besides, Chanyeol doesn't have shit on me.”

“You just said I wasn't going to get a rise out of you.”

Minseok scoffs and looks over at him, “Yeah, right.”

Jongin deflated in relief, throwing his arms around Minseok, who groans, “What are you doing?”

He squeezes him harder and hides his face in his neck, “Hugging you.”

Minseok sighs and relaxes a little, rubbing Jongin’s back, “If you weren't mad at me, why did you ignore me for so long?”

“Because.” Minseok doesn't finish. “I don't know, just because.”

Jongin doesn't let go of him for a while. Minseok must be tired out of his mind, so he stands up, “Take a shower and go to sleep.”

“You're not staying?”

“No. I miss my bed.”

Minseok rolls his eyes, “It’s the same bed.”

“Are you asking me to sleep with you?”

Minseok makes a disapproving noise and just stands, going into the bathroom. Jongin hears the water turn on and he immediately jumps on to the bed, sighing when the cool feeling of the sheets nestle him in. Minseok’s out of the shower in an hour or so. Jongin looks away when he sees him getting dressed.

“Decided to stay?” Minseok taunts.

Jongin huffs, “I think Chanyeol has a thing for my brother.”

“You have a brother?”

“Are you even listening?”

Minseok laughs, putting his arms behind his head, “What's so wrong with Chanyeol having a thing for your brother?”

Jongin shrugs, “I don't know. It's just weird, don't you think? He's been my best friend for so long, and we dated, which is weird within itself and now he likes my brother?”

“So what? Unless you still have feelings for him that would make sense.”

“I don't. Guess it's just funny to see my brother have a free choice on who he gets to like.” Jongin doesn't realize he says it until he feels Minseok shift uncomfortably next to him. “I… didn't get to have that. You do understand, right?”

Minseok nods, “Your dad took that from you. In a way, so did I.”

Jongin closes his eyes for a second, “I just hope my dad doesn't do the same thing to him.”

“I'm that bad?” Minseok looks a little hurt.

“No, you're not. It's just… it was sudden with you. The wedding and everything was a few weeks after I had even met you. Maybe it was okay for you but I felt like a piece of cattle being given to you like that.” Jongin sighs, “It's been months since then.”

“It'll be different for your brother. He’ll get the whole experience.”

Jongin frowns, “I hope it works out.”

“Hey.” Minseok says, and Jongin looks at him. “Why are you so worried about this?”

“Because it's not me.” He whispers, “Because I wish it was.”

They're quiet for a while, filled with the sound of breathing and the wind coming through the door downstairs. Minseok reaches out and touches his cheek. Jongin feels the ball in his throat grow bigger and bigger by the second. He pushes his cheek into Minseok’s hand and says, “You don't treat me bad. You're a good man, but do you know what it feels like? To get thrown into something so strange and weird? It's scary. I was scared, you know.”

“I'm sorry.” Minseok says, his expression a little softer than before.

Jongin turns his face away, feeling overwhelmed under his gaze and soft hands and soft voice.

“Are you crying?” Minseok whispers. He is, but Jongin tries to play it off by sniffling. In a second, he's covering his face with his hands and curling into himself, “Oh, Jongin.” Minseok says, trying to pry his hands from his face, “Come on, Nin.”

“It's stupid.” Jongin mumbles, embarrassed. “You're too much! You just lay there and talk to me sweetly and touch my face and your hands are so soft. God, have you felt them?”

Minseok’s looking at him with a confused expression, so he says, “Of course I have.”

“I'm sorry. I'm just overwhelmed.” Jongin lowers his voice again, “I didn't mean when I said you're too much. I just… I'm having a mid-life realization episode.”

“Realizing what, exactly?”

“I don't know, you tell me. You're older and wiser.” Jongin points, curling into himself. “Chanyeol’s gonna date my brother and they're gonna fall in love. I'm happy for that, you know, but-”

“Honey, you're just babbling now.” Minseok laughs softly. “You need to sleep.”

Jongin wipes his tears away and nods, “Don't mention this ever. I'll feel stupid.”

Minseok rolls his eyes, clicks his tongue and says, “This is my first time seeing you cry. I want to remember it.”

“Stop it.” Jongin whines, pushing at his chest.

“Okay, baby, I won't mention it.” Minseok says then, soothing Jongin’s bangs from his forehead. “Do you want to sleep now?”

Jongin nods. When the lights go out, he tosses to stare at Minseok who already had his eyes closed.

+

When he wakes, the bed is empty. Jongin stretches and sits up, looking around to find a note or something to explain his absence. “Minseok?” Jongin takes the comforter and wraps it around himself as he walks down the hall and to the stairs. Again, “Minseok?”

“Mr. Kim will be gone all day.” A man standing by the door says. Jongin doesn't recognize him.

“Where is he?”

The man swallows, visibly nervous, “I'm not sure.”

“Fuck.” Jongin runs back to his room and changes, brushing his teeth as quickly as he can before going down the stairs. “Who did he leave with?”

“If I knew, I would tell you.”

Jongin takes his phone out and dials Chanyeol, “Then why the fuck are you even here? Hey, Chanyeol? Come get me. Minseok disappeared into thin air apparently and I have class in an hour.”

Chanyeol arrives fifteen minutes later, looking like he just rolled out of bed, “Maybe he's busy.”

“He would have told me.” Jongin sighs, calling him again but the only response he gets is his voicemail. “You know what? Take me to south side. A guy he works with lives there.”

“Why are you so pressed on finding him?”

“Because he didn't tell me.”

“You sound crazy. He's a fucking mob boss, he doesn't have to tell you anything.” Chanyeol says. Jongin throws a warning glance. “Minseok is fine, Jongin. He probably just got caught up somewhere. Besides, if he's dead, you'll find out soon.”

“You're making this worse.”

Chanyeol only offers a pitiful grin, “Get to class, okay? I'll pick you up after and we can eat chicken at my place. I'll even let you put your feet on me.”

Jongin doesn't pay much attention during his lecture, nor does he eat as much as he usually does when Chanyeol brings food. They watch a movie - maybe two, Jongin can't remember - and fall asleep after a while. Jongin’s woken from his nap by his phone ringing against his chest, “Hello?”

“Hey.”

Immediately, Jongin feels every nerve in his body unhinge, “Minseok?”

“Did something happen? You called me like thirteen times.”

“No, I'm fine. I'm with Chanyeol. I woke this morning and you weren't there and then I asked-”

Minseok sighs, “I know, baby. I need you to do me a favor. Stay with Chanyeol for a while. Don't go back home.”

“What?”

“Please, Jongin.”

“Are you okay? Is my dad okay?”

“We’re all fine. There's just… a lot of heat on the streets right now and we’re at a bit of a risk. I would have woken you this morning, but they dragged me out.”

Jongin slumps, “Why do you have to be a mob boss?”

“Saying that over the phone could get both of us into a lot of trouble.”

“Mop.” Jongin says, “Mop boss. Top selling mops.”

Chanyeol groans next to him and kicks him, on purpose, in the shin, “Chanyeol!” He hisses, shoving him.

“You stay with him until I call, okay?”

“How long will this be? Chanyeol drives me insane.”

Minseok laughs, but it doesn't sound sincere, “I don't know how long. Just… just get comfortable.”

Jongin frowns, looks over to find Chanyeol staring at him, a frown on his face too, “Okay.”

“I'll see you soon, honey. Don't worry.”

Before Jongin can say anything else, the phone clicks and he drops it back on his chest. Chanyeol doesn't ask at first, just rubs his wrist to comfort him.

“Is it… okay if I stay here? Just until he gets back? I'd go home, but-”

“Of course.” Chanyeol says. “It'll be like when we were kids.”

Jongin smiles, but the weight of the news still hangs heavy in his mind. Too much heat on the streets? What does that even mean?

At that moment, Jongin feels as if it's appropriate to ask about the status of the relationship between Chanyeol and his brother. He only does this to take his mind off of Minseok, “Are you dating Jongdae?”

Chanyeol huffs, only quiet for a few minutes but then he says, “No, I'm not.”

“But you like him.”

“If I do, are you going to get your mob boss daddy to beat me up along with six others just like him?” Chanyeol picks at the thread hanging from Jongin’s shirt. Jongin says, no. “Are you mad?”

“Not really. My dad was the one that said you were spending a lot of time at my old house. Jongdae’s always had a thing for you, you know.” Jongin tries to keep the air in the room light, but he just feels sick. “If you're happy, I'm happy.”

Chanyeol smiles, warm and content, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

+

The weeks that proceed Minseok’s absence are filled with mischief, mainly on the part of Chanyeol who wants to go out drinking every night. “You know what I like? Being sober.” Jongin says, with a very much drunk Chanyeol on his shoulder, practically dragging him through the lobby of his apartment complex to get him to the elevator. “I don't understand why you insist on getting drunk every night.”

“It's fun.” Chanyeol chirps.

Jongin helps him to inside to his room, not bothering to turn any of the lights on. He bumps into the wall on his way out of Chanyeol’s room, “Bitch.” Jongin rubs at his elbow.

When Jongin walks back out and into the living room area, he finds Minseok sitting in a chair, one leg folded over the other and his arms crossed, “Minseok…”

“I couldn't call.” Minseok clarifies, “Junmyeon wouldn't even let me touch a phone. Is Chanyeol asleep?”

“Dead basically from all the drinking he did tonight.” Jongin laughs.

Minseok gets up and walks over to him, wrapping an arm around his waist to hug him, but his mouth hovers over his cheek, “I missed you.”

“Me, too.” Jongin rubs the expensive material of his suit in between his fingers. “Did you break in?”

“Locks are easy.” Minseok mumbles, pressing tiny kisses against his jaw, but still cautious, not wanting to go further. “You're killing me.” It sounds like a whine, it probably would sound like one coming out of anyone else, but it's Minseok and he's cold and strong.

Jongin ducks his head into his shoulder, embarrassed, “We should go.”

“He won't hear us.”

“Chanyeol is a stupid drunk, but he hears everything.” Jongin stops the hand sneaking up under his shirt. “Home, Minseok. Not here.”

Jongin’s strung up the entire car ride home. He leaves a note for Chanyeol and some pills for when he wakes up. Whatever is going to happen when they step through that front door, he doesn't know if he even wants it yet, but Minseok is holding on to his hand so tight that he might just break.

Once they're inside, Jongin starts for the stairs, Minseok following close right behind him. I'm dying, he thinks, I'm dying. His hands shake as they open their bedroom door. The lights are off and he hopes it will stay that way, unsure if he wants Minseok to see the look of worry quickly spreading across his face. Minseok grabs his arm lightly, tugging him a little. He slots his chin against his shoulder and closes his eyes. Jongin’s shaking, practically trembling and Minseok notices, “You're shaking, baby.”

“I'm scared.”

“Of what?”

Jongin sighs, “Of what happened at Chanyeol’s apartment. You're so close.”

“Do you want to go to sleep, then?”

Jongin shakes his head and looks at him, “Why didn't you take me the night we got married?”

“Take you?”

“Why didn't you fuck me?”

Minseok looks down, licks his lips and shrugs, “Didn't want you to have a bad impression of me. I didn't want to touch you unless you wanted me to.”

“You could have, though. I was scared when you walked me into our room. It looked all romantic and cute. For a moment, I thought-”

“Why are you saying this?”

Jongin tries to remember, but his mouth shuts suddenly. Their welcomed again by another long period of silence, Minseok holding Jongin slightly, but as the minutes pass, he lets go of him and just stands behind him. There's some movement and Jongin turns to find Minseok undressing, but he looks tired, so he doesn't overthink it. Jongin does the same, for some unknown reason. Minseok slides a hand on his hip, tapping reassuringly before getting into bed, sighing and saying, “I think I missed the bed more than you.”

Jongin can only smile.

He doesn't know where it comes from, or if it's only because Minseok was gone for so long, but Jongin has this need to just cling to him.

“I'm sorry.” Is all he says.

Minseok looks down at him, sleepy and soft, “What for?”

“I don't know.”

Jongin twists and hides his face in Minseok’s neck, trying to remember what it was he felt so bad about. Minseok sighs, “As much as I love having you on me, your leg is suffocating me.”

Jongin laughs, a little embarrassed and moved his leg away, closing his eyes.

+

Jongin was late to his afternoon class, resulting in a few small tantrums towards Chanyeol when he picked him up right after. In an effort to make him shut up, Chanyeol bought him food and relished in the silence of not having to hear Jongin bitch and moan about how bad his day was. “How's Jongdae?” Jongin asks. Chanyeol rolls his eyes, squeezing the steering wheel slightly.

“Why don't you ask him yourself instead of me?” Chanyeol waited for the gate to open to let them into Minseok’s and Jongin’s home. “He is your brother.”

“He is your boyfriend.” Jongin shot back, smiling when Chanyeol’s ears flushed pink. “You're not slick, Park Chanyeol.”

“Get out of my car.” Chanyeol tried to hide his grin and reached over, yanking the door open, but hitting his head on the roof of the car in the process. “Shit!”

Jongin thanked him for the ride and food and grabbed his things.

Once he was inside he said, “Min?”

“Out here!” Jongin bit into his burger as he walked outside to find Minseok by the pool, his feet dipped in. “You're eating garbage.”

“It's a burger.” Jongin clarifies and sits down next to him, avoiding the water. “You're not busy today?”

Minseok shakes his head, “Thankfully.”

Jongin wants to say something, maybe apologize again for what began at Chanyeol’s but never ended at home. He decides to leave it for some other time, instead leaning his head on his shoulder. He smells clean, like he's just gotten out of the shower and Jongin feels his stomach sweep. He hears Minseok start to talk about something, but shuts him up with squeezing his cheeks and planting a kiss right on him. He expects Minseok to do something but he just grimaces and says, “You have burger breath.”

Jongin grins, going back to eating and listening to Minseok complain – slightly – about Kris and Junmyeon and everything that's going wrong on the streets. It's nice, Jongin thinks, to have Minseok speak this way with him, this just means he trusts him. “I'll be right back. If I brush my teeth, will you kiss me?”

“Oh, I was just kidding!” Minseok laughs, squeezing his thigh.

“I'll take me and my burger breath inside, then.”

“Honey!”

Jongin laughs and turns to look at Minseok who has this sort of look in his eye that he's never seen before. Jongin retreats to shower and clean himself up and gets into Minseok’s bed to do some homework. Minseok comes in an hour later, on the phone and looking pissed. Jongin frowns, but doesn't say anything.

After his call, which is filled with Minseok hissing, Minseok doesn't say much, just slumps down next to Jongin and closes his eyes. Absentmindedly, Jongin massages Minseok’s temples. “Are you almost done?”

“Not really.” Jongin frowns. “Why? Do you want something to eat?”

There's no response, so Jongin continues rubbing at Minseok’s temples, eventually drifting down and settling his hand on his chest, not moving it. Jongin gives up after a good twenty minutes and throws his books on the floor. He gets up and turns off the lights, crawling back into bed only to have Minseok tug him half on top of him. “I missed you today.”

Jongin smiles, leaning in to steal a kiss. He's still not sure where it comes from, but he's so comfortable and wants to be cuddled up to Minseok at all times, kiss him as much as he can.

It's dark in the room, so Jongin’s glad Minseok can't see the slight flash of worry across his face when he presses him and turns him over to kiss him deeper. It's been so long since Jongin has had anything like this, an occasional fling was the last time he’d been this close to anyone, and he's not sure if he wants everything already, but he lets Minseok have his way with what makes him comfortable.

Minseok kisses him lightly, not wanting to rush into anything quick, but Jongin notices that he’s half hard against his thigh. Jongin untangles one of his hands from Minseok’s hair to place right over his growing tent. Minseok winces, angling his hips away, “What are you doing?”

Jongin feels breathless, “You're hard.”

“Half.”

“I can help.”

Minseok laughs, leaning down to kiss him again. “Go slow.”

It's a little foreign, Jongin realizes. He hasn't had his hand on anyone other than himself in such a long time. The more Jongin rubs and ruts against him, the shakier his breaths became against Jongin’s mouth. Something clicks and he says, very quickly, “Turn over.”

Minseok doesn't ask, rolling over onto his back. Jongin straddles his hips and smiles, sweet and pretty. Without saying anything, he reaches behind him and grabs Minseok’s cock in his hand over his sweatpants, a little rough, causing Minseok to wince and twist away. Jongin leans down and kisses him once, a fleeting moment before slipping completely away.

Jongin rids him of his pants and boxers all in one go. He slides down completely, settling in between his legs. A wave of lust takes over him when Minseok’s hand twists in to his hair, guiding him and pulling slightly. He feels the sudden urge to just be good and pliant and let Minseok take what he wants.

He gags when he’s halfway down, having not had any dick in his mouth for over a year. His throat contracts, not letting him take anymore. Tears pinch his eyes, which Minseok just wipes away and pushes him down again, slowly. Jongin squeezes his thumb, breathing through his nose as Minseok pushes down further. Minseok sighs, “Come on, honey, you can take more.”

Jongin groans, clutching at the sheets. There's spit and precome all around his mouth and dropping down his chin. He can only imagine how disgusting he looks now. Minseok guides him through the bobs, thrusting his hips up every once in awhile when Jongin flattens his tongue on the underside of his cock. Minseok’s head lolls back, the tiniest of a moan escaping his lips. Jongin wants more, so he bobs faster, hollows his cheeks more and tightens his lips.

“Shit.” Minseok hisses, looking down and meeting Jongin’s eyes. Jongin pulls off, replacing his mouth with his hand when he dips down to mouth at his balls. Minseok yanks his hair then, bordering on painful and pulls him right back to his cock. Jongin sucks on the tip until Minseok’s moaning a little louder and has to pull him off again, coming all over Jongin’s hand, some of it getting on his cheek.

Minseok pulls Jongin back up to him and wipes his face with a tissue. Jongin’s still achingly hard, and he figures that it wouldn't hurt to rut against Minseok’s thigh. “Min…” he breathes, biting his lip.

He doesn't say anything, only sucks marks into Jongin’s neck as he brings himself to the edge, coming all over Minseok’s thigh and hipbone. Jongin falls onto Minseok then, kissing his chin.

Jongin moans when Minseok threads a hand through his hair to pull him to meet his gaze, “You waited that long to suck my dick?”

“I hated you.” Jongin smiles. “Had to build up to it.”

“You're cute.” Minseok comments, pulling him in for another kiss.

Jongin says in between a kiss, “Come in my mouth next time.”

Minseok laughs, smacking his ass softly, “You're not gonna let me breathe after this, are you?”

“I've waited so long for you to show even the slightest bit of interest in me.” Jongin nibbles at his lip. “We have a lot of lost time to make up for.”

+

Chanyeol’s furious, but in the kind of way that amused Jongin. “Why are you still pouting?”

“I told you!” Chanyeol hisses, smacking him with a pillow. “I told you to call me when–”

“Lower your fucking voice.” Jongin whispers, turning to see if Minseok had even noticed what they were talking about. He was outside with Junmyeon, talking about something concerning business. The sliding door was slightly opened, easy for them to get a little closer and listen. “My sex life doesn't concern you.”

Chanyeol’s jaw fell open, “It does, you idiot.”

Just as Jongin’s about to hiss back, he hears a shout erupt outside. He tries his best not to look and instead beckons Chanyeol upstairs into Jongin’s old room, the one he’d abandoned ever since he and Minseok became attached at the hip. They pass time by writing their English paper, avoiding the very obvious shouts coming from both Junmyeon and Minseok downstairs.

It dies down after a while, the shouts becoming civilized apologies and then the door shutting. “It's getting late. I have a date with Jongdae in the morning.”

Jongin smiles, walking him downstairs and noticing that Minseok’s sitting on the couch, his eyes closed and eyebrows pulled together in a frown. “Goodbye, Mr. Kim.” Chanyeol says and Minseok waves. When the door shuts, a sigh leaves Minseok’s lungs.

“Everything all right?”

“I wish.” Minseok opens his eyes, staring at the ceiling, “Junmyeon's a pain in my fucking ass sometimes.”

Jongin nods, pressing his lips together, “Yeah, we could hear you from up here.”

Minseok scoffs, unbuttoning his shirt, waving Jongin over so he can sit on his lap, “How was your day?”

“I fucked up my presentation.” Jongin smiles, “I wasn't prepared.”

“At least you had a better day than I did.” Minseok soothes his fingers through his hair causing Jongin to lean into it. Jongin sighs when Minseok kisses him, softly aside from the fact how pissed he seems to be. Jongin comes to the conclusion that he doesn't want to be anywhere else with anyone else.

There's a fleeting moment of uncertainty when Minseok manhandles him underneath him, settling himself in between his legs. Jongin can taste the remains of whiskey on his tongue, the smell of smoke on his collar, and it just makes this all of the more arousing. “Minseok.” It's a plea, in a way, and Jongin melts completely when Minseok’s hand settles over his cock over his pants. All he can think about is what it would feel like to have Minseok’s lips wrapped around him, but Minseok stopped that thought the moment he stops kissing him. “Why'd you stop?”

“Can you do something for me?”

Jongin nods, jumping in surprise when Minseok kisses him abruptly. The hand over his crotch slips away. Minseok bites at Jongin’s jaw, “Let me fuck your mouth.”

It's a lot, clearly. But Jongin can't find any reason to say no, so he nods, trying to get him out of his pants quickly. He assumes that Minseok needs this after a bad day, after all the arguing with Junmyeon and the mishaps from earlier. Jongin doesn't want to ask, but he hopes he’ll return the favor, seeing as he's painfully hard and neglected. Minseok pushes a pillow behind Jongin’s head, his voice soft from where he is, “Here.” He grabs Jongin's left hand and places it on his thigh, “You pinch if it’s too much.”

“Hurry.” Jongin says because he wants this badly, wants to be good just for Minseok. Minseok smiles, patting his cheek so he opens his mouth. Jongin moans instantly, it's heavy on his tongue.

There's a soft, fuck from Minseok, the hand not gripping on the couch, gripping at his hair. Jongin began to see a pattern of that. He always wanted to pull at it. “Relax your throat.” He whispers, clearly trying to keep his composure. Jongin lets his jaw relax, inviting the rest of Minseok until his eyes pinch and he’s gagging. “Fuck.”

Jongin whines, sucking and bobbing even though the position doesn't allow him to do much. Minseok pulls on his hair slightly, “Stop.” It's not painful but it's overwhelming. Minseok leans forward, the hand gripping the couch shifting in front of him as he goes slow, his hips snapping until he's moaning loud enough for it to bounce off the walls. Jongin hollows out his cheeks, becoming a sticky and wet mess around his mouth as Minseok’s fucks into his mouth. His pace quickens after a while, more intense and Jongin can feel his stomach burning.

He takes his right hand and rubs himself over his jeans, just so Minseok knows he's not the only one enjoying this. Minseok sees his arm moving and laughs, “You like this, baby?”

Jongin moans in response. His stomach swoops when Minseok goes faster, his gag reflex betraying him, but Minseok notices and chases his orgasm at a slow pace. Jongin squeezes his eyes when Minseok comes down his throat, drool running down his chin and spit all over his face. He winces when Minseok pulls out, missing it suddenly.

“Oh.” Minseok says, realizing the mess he’d made of Jongin’s pretty face. Minseok picks his shirt up from the floor and wipes the spit and drool. Jongin steals a kiss, shoving his tongue into his mouth so he can't taste himself. It's disgusting, but Jongin can't help but want him to know that he’d done this and Jongin had swallowed every drop. “My baby.” Minseok whispers, kissing his chin and jaw.

Jongin becomes impatient, undoing his pants and snaking his hand into his boxers to get some reprieve. Minseok swats his hands away, replacing them with his own, kissing down his chest until he closes his lips around a nipple. He's never been had like this before. Chanyeol was never like this for sure. Jongin whines, bucking up into Minseok’s hand as he chases his orgasm. Within a few minutes, he's coming into Minseok’s tiny palm. Minseok sighs, wiping it on his shirt, combining it with Jongin’s spit. “Fuck.” Jongin breathes.

Minseok presses their chests together and closes his eyes. “I'm sorry.”

“What?” Jongin licks his lip. He can still taste Minseok and it makes his head feel fuzzy.

“I don't want you think that this is an everyday thing.” It comes out wrong, Minseok elaborating when Jongin flinches, “I mean, I'm not going to come to you when I have a bad. I'm not going to use you as my relief, do you understand?”

“Oh.”

Minseok sighs, brushing his bangs back, “I'd want nothing more than to fuck you senseless every time I have a bad day, but that's not all you are to me.”

Jongin hadn't even noticed the pattern. It made sense that he was explaining this, though, just in case Jongin did feel like he was just a form of stress relief. “Okay.”

“Okay.” Minseok smiles, going in for a chaste kiss. “Thank you for that, too. Letting me.”

“I liked it.” Jongin has to whisper it because he's shy. Minseok laughs softly, “We should get up. I'm sticky.”

Minseok nods, standing first and pulling Jongin up. His knees feel wobbly from his orgasm, causing him to cling to Minseok’s shoulder. “I don't feel that way, you know.” Jongin says at they undress to shower. “I know you're not using me for just my mouth.”

“Just don't want you to think–”

“I don't think that.” Jongin says quickly, joining him under the spray of water. Minseok shuts his mouth after that, complete silence settling over them as they shower and wash off the day. Jongin pulls on some boxers and gets into bed, sending a few texts to Chanyeol about how his jaw hurts. Minseok disappears downstairs for a while to take some calls before coming back up and getting into bed. Jongin peaks a few glances at Minseok from the side of his phone and notices that he looks even more upset than earlier.

Jongin worries his lip in between his teeth and reaches under the covers for Minseok’s hand. Minseok jumps, surprised at the sudden contact, but just sighs, closing his eyes and squeezing Jongin’s hand softly.

“I'm here, you know.” Jongin whispers, afraid to say anything else.

“Thank you.”

+

Jongin’s been wincing and whining for the past hour as Minseok’s stylist takes measurements for a suit. “I don't even want to go to this stupid thing!”

“Well, I have to go and you're my man, so you're going.” Minseok mumbles as he flips through the newspaper. He's sitting in the corner of the room, already having been measured since he had these sorts of things done all the time but Jongin couldn't stop moving and twisting. Minseok’s stylist kept hissing at him to stay still. “Are you done with him yet?”

“Maybe if he wasn't such a worm, I would have been done twenty minutes ago.”

“Maybe–” Jongin was ready to spit back but Minseok shot him a look. “You don't even like Kris, or Yifan or whatever his fucking name is. You broke his nose! Why do I have to go?”

“Yifan is a business partner and you know that. It's his wedding day. Don't you like weddings?”

“No. I fucking hate them.” Jongin sighs when the stylist finally backs away. “Let me stay home.”

“You have to come with me. Listen, you don't even have to do anything big, just be with me and that's it! Your parents will be there and so will your brother.”

Jongin rolls his eyes, grabbing his hoodie from the chair, “Fine. Not like I can argue with you anyway.”

They leave the hotel in a rush, mainly because Jongin has class in ten minutes on the other side of town. Jongin hauls his books into his arms as he gets out of the car, scrambling to make it on time. Minseok tugs him back by the wrist, “What?” Jongin asks.

Minseok puckers his lips.

“I hate you.” Jongin kisses him anyways and runs inside, nearly tripping.

The week do the wedding rolls around in a haze. Jongin has Chanyeol take notes for him for one of his classes while he's gone. Jongin doesn't even want to touch the suit he’s wearing do to how expensive it feels.

Minseok had smiled so big when he saw him, shaking his head and dusting his shoulders off, “You look like gold.”

“Don't touch me then.” Jongin teased, “I might chip.”

The wedding is Yifan’s and his, apparently, long time boyfriend Kyungsoo. Jongin had never met him and didn't even recognize him when they were introduced during the party. Jongin unhinges himself from Minseok’s arm and wanders around looking for his parents, who he finds only a moment later. Jongdae jumps up from his seat and hugs him, squeezing him so tight Jongin feels his ribs constrict. “How are you?” Jongin asks, trying not to sound choked up because he's missed them so much. “I'm sorry I haven't passed by the house. Schools just keeping me busy all the time.”

“We missed you. How's Minseok? Is he nice?” Jongdae asks quickly.

“To me.” Jongin smiles, hugging him again and finally, finally diving into questions about Chanyeol. It doesn't take long to get it out of him. They were together, but just taking things slow for the time being. Jongin thought it was nice to see his brother so clearly in love that he couldn't even notice. Jongin turns to a hand on his shoulder, Minseok standing behind him. Jongdae shakes his hand and interrogates him – which is oddly funny – only to have his mother scold him and make Jongdae sit down.

It's weird to see Minseok act this way around his parents. So polite and nice. Jongin tries to mentally record all of this because he's never really seen it before. Minseok leaves after a few minutes, excusing himself and patting Jongin’s shoulder. “Oh, he's a dreamboat.” His mother grins. “Sweet man. Right, honey?”

Jongin's father hums.

Jongin spends the majority of the time with his parents, only ever being sought out by Minseok when he's being introduced. Slowly, the party fades the same way Jongin's had almost a whole year ago. It seems so long since then. Gradually, Minseok, Junmyeon, Yifan and Jongin's father disappear from the party, retreating to another location with the rest of their men. Jongin pretends he doesn't notice.

At the very end, Jongin's waiting in the Cadillac, half asleep when the car door opens. There's a slight roar of laughter, Minseok saying, “Go the fuck home, Yifan!”

Jongin straightens in his seat and yawns.

“Hey.” Minseok shuts the door, rubbing his hands together. “Tired?”

“Are you?”

Minseok shrugs, telling their driver to take them to Vietnamese place downtown for some pho. Jongin thinks it's the perfect food for the cold weather outside. When they arrive, the restaurant is completely empty. It clicks and Jongin shoves him, “You’re so stupid.”

“I closed the whole restaurant down for you and you're calling me stupid?”

Jongin tries to fight off the smile as they walk inside, the door shutting behind them. The girl behind the counter beams, “My favorite couple! Oh, you two look so handsome!”

Aside from the fact that the waitress can't stop complimenting them, they eventually get to eat and Jongin sighs because he hadn't realized how hungry he was this entire time. Jongin eats until he can't eat anymore, stuffing in two egg rolls at the end just to make sure he'll hold off for the rest of the night. “I gained like sixteen pounds.” Jongin pats his stomach, sighing from how full he feels.

Minseok leaves an overly generous tip and thanks them greatly for their exceptional food and service.

Jongin feels clingy right after. Being stuffed and warm and the slight warmth of alcohol from the party burning low in his stomach makes him want to cling to Minseok’s arm and not let go. “I hope Yifan and Soo are happy. They make a good couple.” Jongin mumbles against Minseok’s shoulder.

“They're good together.”

“Are we?”

Minseok looks down at him, “Now, we are.”

Jongin closes his eyes, falling asleep and waking up to Minseok carrying him to their bed. Jongin whines when Minseok leaves the room to go into the bathroom, obviously to shower. He pushes himself up on his elbows and tries to blink the sleep away from his eyes. He undressed slowly, dropping expensive pieces on his way to the bathroom. Minseok's washing out his hair when Jongin steps inside. He's fully awake when he notices how Minseok looks tired, but still bright at the same time. Jongin starts to shower too, just because he doesn't really know why he left the bed in the first place to come in here.

“You don't regret it, do you?” Jongin almost smacks his head on the wall from how much he jumps. He turns to find Minseok looking at him, a strange glare swirling in his eyes. “Marrying me, you don't regret it?”

Jongin runs a hand over his face and shakes his head, “No.”

It sucks the air completely out of him. One minute Minseok feels so far away and distant, in a completely different room and the next he's crashing right into Jongin, kissing him like he's about to die and this is the last thing he wants to do. Jongin groans, struggling to breathe from the water hitting him harshly. Minseok reaches behind him and turns it off, pressing him against the wall of the shower with a burning grip on his wrist. Jongin doesn't know where it comes from nor does he fight it, but he twist his wrist from Minseok’s hand and breaks away, his breath rigid, “You want me?” It was the kind of question that was followed by something else, but the only sound was the water dripping from the faucet. “Min?”

“I'm sorry.”

And that's where it ends.

+

Things kind of become awkward after the events in the shower. Minseok becomes oddly distant, sometimes not coming home at night and staying in the living room instead of their own room. He doesn't talk as much, completely withdraws from everything that was once together. Jongin thinks maybe he needs space, maybe he's not sure of some things going on with himself that he needs to figure out.

It's tiring, though, to come home from school to an empty house, sometimes for days at a time. Jongin calls Junmyeon and always gets the same response, “We’re working men. Last place we should be is home.” He figured it's true, but everything feels like it's slowly falling apart. The bed feels too stiff, the food tastes different and all Jongin wants is for things to go back to how they were before.

Chanyeol suggests that it got too good too fast that's why Minseok pulled away, but they'd been going steady for some time, right? What's changed?

Jongin’s sitting on the couch watching TV when the front door opens. He startles and looks toward the direction of the sound to find Minseok coming in, walking slowly and looking a whole fucking mess. “What happened to you?”

“I need a shower.” Is all he says before going upstairs. Jongin gives him space, lets him rest and shower and eat on his own. There's only so much Jongin can do before he feels like it's too much, like maybe he needs to leave and let Minseok figure it out on his fucking own.

When their one year anniversary comes around, Jongin tries to act cool about it, avoiding any conversation with Minseok even though he barely speaks any words to him these days. Jongin’s in the kitchen, eating silently when Minseok comes home late in the afternoon. He doesn't look as bad this time. Just tired. Jongin feels his chest ache when Minseok spares a look in his direction, eyes meeting for just a few seconds before Minseok looks away. “What the fuck is your problem?” Jongin finally, finally says. “What? What did I do?”

“Nothing.” Minseok sighs, rubbing at his eyes.

“Do you notice what's happening? Are you even paying attention?” Jongin spits. It's been boiling too long. “I sleep alone, I wake up alone, I cook alone, I have to come home to an empty fucking house. And even when you are here you avoid me completely and sleep on the fucking couch. What is this? What the fuck are you doing?”

When there's no response, Jongin huffs, “Find some better piece of ass on the street? That it? Couldn't fuck me so you found someone else?”

“Jongin.”

“Just fucking say it! Tell me what the hell is going on with you. I'm tired of it.” Jongin demands, “I call Junmyeon everyday just to make sure you're not dead in a ditch somewhere in fucking Alameda. Don't you think of me? Don't you feel anything for me anymore?”

Minseok blinks, like this is news, like he hadn't heard it millions of times before.

“Minseok.”

“I just… need some time.” Minseok breathes. “Can you give me time?”

Jongin simmers down, nodding.

Everything's the same at first, he still disappears for days at a time, but slowly slips back in. It doesn't happen overnight, but he tries to do his best to ease back into the way things once were. Jongin asked Junmyeon one day why the withdrawal had happened and he said, “Things get too serious and he books it. Just how he is.”

Jongin always watched him closer after the first time, trying to see any signs that pointed to him pulling away again. He spent more nights at home, not always in their bed but sometimes Jongin would wake up to Minseok’s breath puffing against his neck.

It was midsummer when things felt sort of normal again. Not completely but halfway there. Jongin was floating in the pool while Minseok sat on a beach chair and watched him absentmindedly. They'd cook sometimes, talking quietly amongst each other. The flirting slid back in too, Minseok doing most of it just because he was better at it than Jongin.

When they finished eating, Jongin cleaned and met Minseok upstairs. He was too tired to shower so he just slid in under the sheets, tugging on Minseok’s arm to bring him closer. Jongin stole a kiss, which he hadn't allowed himself to do since Minseok’s small withdrawal a few weeks before. It felt good to be close to him again, but he didn't want to chase him away so he just stared, waiting for him to do something. “It's been a year.” Jongin whispers. “Since I married you. A whole year and a few months.”

“You remembered.”

He nods. Minseok reaches forward, his hand circling around Jongin’s arm. It's enough contact to make Jongin shake. “Please. It's been so long. I–”

Minseok kisses him on the mouth to stop anything else to from leaving his lips, traveling all the way down to his chin and neck. Jongin wants to cry because he's gone to bed dreaming of this for months, dreaming of finally, fucking finally being close to him. He's glad for a second that Minseok asks, “Is this okay?” Because aside from how long he's been burning, he appreciates Minseok’s concern. Too much too soon could send him into a spiral.

Jongin grows impatient of just being rubbed at over his swim shorts, hooking his thumbs underneath and sliding them all the way off. Something, anything, just give me one thing and I'll be fine. Minseok’s sucking a bite into the side of Jongin’s neck when he notices Jongin’s impatiently seeking friction against the front of Minseok’s shirt. “Stop. Wait.” Minseok says, holding his hips and trying to catch his breath.

There's a whine stuck in his throat that he represses, waiting for Minseok to do something. Jongin blinks and the next second Minseok is sliding down the bed, his strong, tiny hands taking hold of Jongin's cock. Jongin closes his eyes, a hand unclenching from the sheets to find Minseok’s hair. It's almost too much, to have Minseok, the second most wealthiest man in the city, with his cock in his mouth. The rush that went through him was short lived. Minseok pulled off, replacing his mouth with his hand as he kissed along his stomach. “You were good at that. Why'd you stop?”

“Because.”

“Something comes after that, you know.” Jongin breathed, his words getting stuck halfway up when Minseok squeezed the tip. Minseok let go of him all together, and Jongin felt his face heat up, but he relaxed when he realized Minseok was just discarding his shirt and sweatpants.

“What's that look on your face?” Minseok asks.

“Nothing. I just thought…”

Minseok looks sorry, and nods, pulling him in for another kiss. It's all very strange at first. Jongin doesn't know where to put his hands nor where to touch because he hadn't gotten to know Minseok’s body well enough in the entire year they spent together. Minseok asks a few times if it's okay, if he's comfortable and Jongin always nods, says yes.

Everything aches after what feels like hours of just heated kissing. Jongin needs some fucking reprieve. He's hard against his stomach and hasn't had a hand on him since Minseok had pulled away. “Minseok? Hurry, please.”

Minseok nods, reaching somewhere in the nightstand to grab lube. His chest is hovering right over Jongin’s face and strains up, biting and kissing and sucking. “Fuck.” Minseok hisses, holding Jongin there with a hand on the back of his head. Jongin gasps when Minseok pushes his legs farther apart and snakes a hand underneath. “How long’s it been?”

Jongin winces when he feels the stretch of just one finger. It's different when they're not his own. “Since I've been fucked?”

“You cuss too much.” Minseok latches his mouth on to his collarbone and works him open with just one finger for what feels like an hour before Jongin’s clawing at his back, whining for another, saying in a tiny voice, I can take it, I can take it. It's almost enough to send Minseok coming all over his stomach but he holds on.

Jongin’s a babbling mess by the third finger. Minseok doesn't stop though, coaxes every small cracking breath from his throat and the small tears forming at the corners of his eyes. Minseok doesn't know how long he’ll last, considering the needy mess Jongin has turned into. “On your back?”

Jongin nods. Minseok quickly slides on the condom and coats himself in lube before bending Jongin’s leg slightly, hitting his chest. Minseok bottoms out when Jongin clenches just around the tip, sliding all the way in only to pull out and slam right back in. Jongin winces, the tiniest twig of pain snapping in his chest as Minseok fucks into him. Jongin wraps an arm around Minseok’s shoulder and pulls him down for a kiss which is ruined by his moans. Minseok lets go of his leg and instead sets it on his back. Jongin clings to him, trying to meet his thrusts until he can feel it just a few pushes away. Minseok touches him softly, tenderly, almost painfully slow and Jongin comes, tears pinching in his eyes as he throws his head back, trying to catch his breath.

“Come on.” Jongin whispers, tightening his ankles around Minseok’s back. Minseok whines, softly in the back of his throat. Jongin whimpers from over sensitivity when Minseok slams into him repeatedly that it makes loud slapping sounds in the room. A moment later, and he’s pulling on Jongin’s hair as he spills out into the condom, collapsing onto Jongin’s chest.

Minseok lifts himself up a few minutes after and cleans himself up, going into the bathroom to grab a wet towel to clean Jongin’s chest and stomach.

Jongin gulps when Minseok comes back into bed, not saying anything and completely lax.

“I didn't hurt you, did I?”

“What?” Jongin blinks at him. “Oh, no. I'm fine. Might be a little sore, but I'm fine.”

Minseok grins, reaching over to move the hair away from his eyes and Jongin’s heart swoops. “I love you, kid.”

“I love you, too.”

+

“An anniversary dinner.” Jongin says for probably the third time in the last sixteen minutes. Chanyeol’s sitting across the table from him looking smug as shit. “Min and I don't need an anniversary dinner. Our anniversary was three months ago.”

“The first year is always the hardest.” His mother says. “Besides, it's already arranged.”

“Without my opinion?”

“Minseok said he asked you last week.”

Jongin rolls his eyes because yes, he had, but all while fucking Jongin into the couch and suddenly asking, “What do you think of an anniversary dinner?” And with a dick up his ass and precum leaking from his own cock, he nodded and said, “It's perfect.”

“Fine. You get your stupid anniversary dinner.” Jongin slaps Chanyeol’s arm when his mother looks away. “Bid idiot.”

Jongin comes back home from his parents house to Minseok laying on the couch covered in a blanket. “Hey, you asshole.”

“Nice to see you, too, honey.”

“Why didn't you tell me that my mom was planning a stupid anniversary dinner for us?” Jongin throws his bag by the stairs, crossing his arms as he looms over Minseok.

Minseok shrugs, “I did tell you.”

“You were fucking me into next Tuesday when you decided to ask.”

Minseok laughs, “I barely remembered! What's the big deal? An anniversary dinner isn't that bad. We eat with a bunch of people.”

“Because it's _stupid_ and a waste of money.”

“You're going to deny your mother the pleasure of arranging an anniversary dinner for you? What kind of–”

Jongin slaps his chest, “Shut up.”

Minseok pulls his wrist and tugs him onto the couch, “I think it's nice. Anniversary dinner. Kind of like our wedding night, just better.”

“We slept in separate rooms on our wedding night.”

“You ruin everything.” Minseok makes an attempt at pushing him off the couch, but Jongin clings onto his arm.

Jongin grins and bites into the meat of his arm. Minseok winces and twists away, jumping off the couch and going for the stairs, “You're running from me?” Jongin calls after him. “One of the richest men in the city is running from a minor college student. If only your men knew about this.”

“I’d like to see you tell them!” Minseok says back from the hallway.

“I will!” Jongin challenges, smiling when he hears Minseok’s steps coming back down the stairs. “At our anniversary dinner.” Jongin laughs when Minseok tackles him onto the couch.

“You're crushing me!” Jongin squirms under him. “You're so small! How are you dominating me like this?”

“You eat burgers for breakfast and lunch and eat donuts as dessert.”

Jongin huffs, nodding, “Whatever. Get off of me. I need to do homework.”

“I love you.” Minseok puckers his lips. Jongin pecks him quickly and makes an attempt at getting up. “No _I love you too, Min_?”

“I love you, too, Min.” Jongin says.

Minseok smiles bright and lets him up. His eyes follow Jongin as he walks up the stairs, almost falling once and laughing at himself. Minseok leans back on the couch and sighs.

There's a slight moment of silence before Jongin yells from upstairs, “Are these _invitations_ to the fucking dinner? Have you been planning this for _months_?”

A smile spreads across Minseok’s face.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been hoarding this since I posted the first chapter and decided to just fucking post it. It's not as good as I'd thought it would be, but min and nin literally kill me so....here's this

Jongin doesn't get the call until late in the night. He’d spent the night with Chanyeol because Minseok had said he’d be gone all night and being home alone didn't sound fitting. Jongin had an arm draped over Chanyeol’s chest when he jumped, reaching for his buzzing phone on the nightstand. Chanyeol groaned, pushing him off and turning away, still asleep. “Hello?” Jongin mumbles, still half asleep. He slowly wakes up the more he listens. “What'd you just say? Okay, but where?”

He left Chanyeol in bed, still asleep and completely oblivious to the entire situation.

Junmyeon had been the one on the other end of the phone, telling him in hushed tones how there'd been a shooting and Minseok had been hit, along with Yifan. Jongin couldn't get in his car quick enough, couldn't burst through the doors of Junmyeon’s big ass house quick enough. Kyungsoo sat in the kitchen, his arms crossed and eyes fixed on a spot in the wall. “Where is he?” Jongin asked, out of breath. Soo pointed to the basement door.

“Wouldn't go down there if I were you.”

Jongin ignored him and took the steps by two, being greeted by Yifan’s body covered in bandages. “Jesus Christ.” Jongin whispered. Yifan blinked at him. “How many did you take?”

“Two.” Yifan said. “Minseok took two to the ribs and one to the shoulder. He's still pretty bad.”

Jongin winced, wrapping his arms around himself. He walked around Yifan’s bed and went through another door only to be pushed out. Jongin could hear whines and whimpers, and Jongin knew they were coming from Minseok. He turned and rushed back upstairs, giving Kyungsoo a look when he said, “Told you so.” Jongin took the seat next to him, delving into the silence that dragged on for longer than two hours. Kyungsoo got up a few times to offer Jongin something to eat, which Jongin always refused.

“Yifan’s not that bad, then?”

Kyungsoo shook his head, “No, but it's not the first time some shit like this happens.”

Jongin nodded.

“Minseok will be fine, you know. He's a strong guy.”

Strong men die all the time.

It was around sunrise when Junmyeon emerged from the basement, his hands tainted slightly red from the blood. “Stabilized for now. Yifan just needs to sleep.”

Jongin waited for it, but Junmyeon just gave him a glance before looking down at his hands, “Minseok will be fine, too. He's just lost a lot of blood. We’re working on getting him to wake up soon.”

“He's unconscious?” Jongin asked, his hands beginning to shake.

“We’re working on it.” Junmyeon repeated. “Yixing and I are doing our best, alright? It was a hard hit, but he’ll live.”

Jongin spent most of his day there, feeling lonely when Kyungsoo left with Yifan clinging to his arm to be able to walk. He called Chanyeol, told him what had happened and even went to the bathroom a few times to cry on the phone about it. Minseok would be fine, obviously, but it's a lot of emotional damage to know that someone you love greatly is under so much pain.

He's sleeping later that afternoon when Yixing wakes him, “He's awake, asked for you first thing.” Jongin scrambled to get up, wiping his mouth and rushing through the living room and to the kitchen. Junmyeon was standing by Minseok, talking quietly. Jongin wanted to die right there and then. Minseok’s eyes flickered to his own and he grinned, “You have drool on your chin.”

“Can I hug him?” Jongin looked over his shoulder at Yixing, who nodded and hissed, “Not too tight!” When Jongin squeezed the living shit out of Minseok. He wanted to melt, to die in this exact spot. Junmyeon and Yixing shuffled out of the room, uncomfortably, mumbling to each other about, couples.

Jongin buried his face in Minseok’s neck, trying to repress any tears that were pinching at the corners of his eyes. Minseok soothed his back, forgetting the fact he was the one with bullet holes in him. “You better not cry.” Minseok whispered. Jongin pulled away, shaking his head and wiping at his eyes. “You've been here all night?”

“Got here around three. Junmyeon called.” Jongin said, gulping around the ball in his throat, “I want to–”

Jongin shut up when Junmyeon opened the door again, apologizing and then saying, “Yixing’s got a cabin up north, says you'll both be safe up there until we find out who did this.”

“What?” Jongin hissed. “I'm not leaving–”

“Nin.” Minseok warned, his grip on Jongin’s hand squeezing. Jongin snatched his hand away. “Give us a minute, Jun?”

Jongin was hissing before Junmyeon got the chance to even shut the door, “We’re leaving? For how long?”

“Being here puts me at a risk, baby. It puts both of us at a risk, do you understand? We won't be gone for long. A few weeks up in a cabin, that's it.”

“What about my parents? Jongdae? Chanyeol?”

“They're not apart of this.” Minseok sighed, his face pinching in pain slightly. “I promise we’ll be back in time for your classes to start.”

Jongin could feel his hearing fade in and out before snapping back into reality, nodding and saying, “Okay.”

+

The cabin was in the mountains on the outside of town, completely hidden by trees and fog. Jongin had slept the entire car ride there. Junmyeon and Minseok whispered to each other in the front seat. The cabin was big, no surprise there, and Yixing was the one to greet them when they got there. Jongin was grumpy, upset besides the fact that he knew he had to do this. “We’ve got men around the perimeter, but at a safe distance, so you'll have,” Yixing shot a glance at Minseok, “plenty of privacy.”

Jongin felt heat flare to his cheeks, but he played it cool, throwing his bag on to the couch, “He's hurt. Does it look like he’ll be fucking me anytime soon?”

“Jesus.” Junmyeon breathes, his hand coming up to cover his mouth when a laugh ripped through. Minseok only rolled his eyes. Jongin disappeared down the hall and wandered into the rooms. He had to give Yixing credit. It was a nice fucking cabin. He heard some shuffling in the kitchen and then the doors shut. Junmyeon and Yixing must have left already. Jongin peaked his head out to Minseok wincing and struggling to sit down on the couch.

“Min–”

“Just hurts a little.” He cut in, sighing when he was fully seated.

Jongin went over and sat down next to him, grabbing his hand and kissing it. The quiet felt weird, like you just left the house and you feel like you're missing something but can't remember what. Jongin and Minseok sit for what feels like hours in complete silence, their hands linked together and the soft hiss of the wind outside. Jongin’s phone buzzes, and he assumes it’s Chanyeol since he doesn't talk to anyone else. It buzzes a few times before Minseok mumbles, “Answer him.”

Chanyeol had only sent him a few texts talking about the new episode of the drama they’d started only a few weeks ago, before the shooting and Jongin tsked, sending a message about fucking spoilers. Jongin put his phone down and stood, “Lets go take a shower.”

“I can shower by myself.”

Jongin laughed, “And what? Open your stitches? Get up, Min.”

Minseok whines the entire time Jongin undressed him and helped him into the shower. It was a lot tighter and smaller than their usual one at home. “We’re cramped.” Minseok said as Jongin scrubbed around his stitches, “You also don't have to do this every time. I can do it myself.”

“I know. I just like having you pliant for me.” Jongin said, pecking a kiss into his cheek. Minseok laughed, stifling a groan when the pain went straight to his stomach. Jongin bathed Minseok first and then himself quickly before helping him out of the shower. Minseok had two sets of stitches on his ribcage and one on his shoulder. He wasn't completely healed yet.

Jongin was shooed away after he tried to help Minseok put on some clothes to sleep in. The bed wasn't as comfortable as the one back home, but it was enough to make Jongin sigh and close his eyes. Jongin whistled when Minseok came out of bathroom wearing one of Jongin’s shirts. “Good look on you.”

“Looks better on me.” Minseok inquired which earned him an eye roll. Jongin searched under the covers for Minseok’s wrist, circling it and wrapping his fingers into his palm. “I miss our house.”

Jongin hummed, “Me too.”

“It won't last long, you know. Junmyeon and Yixing will figure it out. They shot at Yifan and I with bad intentions. That's enough to set anyone off.”

Something stirred in Jongin’s stomach at the mention of what Junmyeon and Yixing would do. It was expected, of course, but to see it actually be pushed into motion only made Jongin nervous. “I don't wanna talk about that.”

Minseok nodded, closing his eyes. “The worst part of being like this,” he began, “is that I can't be as close to you as I want to be.”

Jongin winced, “Shut up.”

A laugh bubbled out of Minseok.

“Me, too, Min. Stupid stitches.” Jongin said, moving his hair from his eyes.

Yixing stopped by once a week to check on Minseok’s stitches, sometimes cleaning them out properly and giving him antibiotics. Within a few weeks, Minseok was moving as he had before the shooting, but they were still in the cabin.

Jongin felt stuck being there, the quiet was suffocating. When Junmyeon stopped by one weekend, Jongin pressed him for answers on who had been behind the shooting. Yixing was in the kitchen checking up on Minseok when Junmyeon hissed at him, quietly, “We know who it is. We just don't know how to tell him.”

“Just tell him!”

Junmyeon turned to fully face him, “It’s Luhan, do you understand?”

Jongin didn't react, which prompted a series of events after that, Junmyeon sucking in a breath and saying, “He never told you about Lu.” The look on Minseok’s face was unreadable when Junmyeon told him. Saying a meeting had been arranged already, that it was a misunderstanding and Luhan would explain. Minseok could only nod, saying okay over and over like a mantra. Jongin felt sick.

When they left, Jongin wanted to ask, but he held it in, figuring if Minseok wanted to know, he would say something. Minseok never did, at least not that night.

Jongin did ask, though, on their way to the meet with Luhan. “Who's Luhan?”

Minseok turned to look at him and then looked down at his hands, “Just someone.”

Jongin decided then that he wouldn't ask him again, shutting his mouth completely for the rest of the night. They arrived at a small warehouse, parked cars out front with men standing by them. Minseok was patted down, growling when one of the men neared Jongin, “Don't touch him. He doesn't have anything on him.”

The warehouse held the usual corrupt men; Junmyeon, Yixing, Yifan, Jongin’s father and some others that Jongin couldn't recognize. Kyungsoo was there, too, seated away from the cluster with his arms crossed. “Brought you along, too?” He asked, sounding annoyed. Jongin took the seat next to him, nodding. “That's brave of Minseok, you know. To bring you, his husband, to the same place Luhan’s gonna be in a matter of minutes.”

A question bubbled in his throat, but he swallowed it quickly, turning towards the sliding doors when a lanky man walked through them. He was handsome, in the soft kind of way. Jongin felt the air in the room quickly shrink. He turned to look towards Minseok, who was becoming visibly affected by the man’s presence. He looked so uncomfortable, but content at the same time. Who the fuck is this guy?

A few words were exchanged, handshakes and awkward small talk before Junmyeon broke the ice. Jongin wasn't listening, he had his eyes focused on this Luhan person, who carried himself in such a relaxed way that it made Jongin feel tense all over.

“Misunderstanding? What kind of misunderstanding are we talking about? Your men just so happened to stroll through north side and shoot at us?” Yifan had belted so loudly that it made Jongin sit up straight. “Minseok was shot three times, you know. Are you sure this isn't some sort of sick, twisted way to get him back?”

“Shooting at someone doesn't make them yearn for the other, you big idiot.” Yixing hissed. Jongin watched as Minseok huffed, his eyes unmoving from Luhan.

“That's in the past.” Luhan said. “It was a misunderstanding. My men can't follow directions, apparently. I've dealt with them already, if that's your concern.”

Junmyeon hummed, “He has. I was there.”

Yixing slapped his hands together, “Good. We can agree that this stays off the streets. No wars, not now at least.”

“For now.” Yifan grumbled. “Are we done here? I'm tired.”

“Minseok?” Junmyeon asked, looking over his shoulder. Jongin could feel the tension building. He felt like he was standing outside of his body watching Minseok and Luhan practically rip each other apart with their eyes.

Minseok cleared his throat, “Stay where you belong, Lu.”

Luhan grinned, excusing himself and throwing a cold glance at Jongin as he walked out. Jongin looked over at Kyungsoo, “What the fuck was that?”

“He hates your guts.”

Jongin scoffed, “He doesn't even know me.”

“Sure does know Minseok.”

+

At home, Jongin was itching to ask, to find out who this Luhan figure was and why Minseok seemed to be tied to him more than the rest of them. Minseok was shaking off his jacket in the living room when Jongin blurred out, “Really, though, who's Luhan?”

Minseok sighed, pulling at his tie, “He rules the outskirts of the city.”

“Okay, but what is he to you?” Jongin asked slowly. That made Minseok stiffen. There was no response for a moment before Minseok nodded, as if agreeing it was time to answer.

“He was my… he was before you.”

Before you.

Oh, before me, Jongin thought. He’d almost forgotten that Minseok had an entire life before Jongin, before their marriage, before being thrown into this world overnight. Of course Minseok had had other relationships, of course. Jongin nodded, not wanting to push the subject further. He should have known this earlier. Minseok was handsome and very easy to love, anyone would fall for him if he blinked in their direction.

Minseok noticed how quiet Jongin had become and clarified, “We were together before I… before all of this, the money and everything. I started out with him, but he wanted to do some things I wasn't agreeing with, so he left me.”

“Oh.” Jongin said. “Does he hate me? Kyungsoo said he does.”

“Probably.” Minseok laughed, “Only because you're in the place he wants to be.”

“He shouldn't have left you, then.”

Minseok rolled his eyes, pulling on his arm to lead him upstairs.

“I forget sometimes.” Jongin said once they were in bed. Minseok had his cheek pressed against Jongin’s shoulder, “I forget you had a whole life before me. That's selfish to say–”

“Don't remember much of the shit I used to do before you.”

Jongin smiles, flicking his arm, “You're being gross.”

Minseok strained to kiss his jaw, soft at first considering how tired they had been from the car ride back into the city. Jongin had missed their bed and the sound of the city humming slightly in the distance. He’d missed being close to Minseok without the sinking feeling in his stomach. In the cabin, Jongin was always careful, his touches soft and tender whenever they did coil together in the dark and quiet of the night. Minseok didn't have much strength then, straining to get even up on his elbows to properly fuck Jongin. He’d winced so much that Jongin had made him stop, repeating that it was okay, that they could save it for when he was fully healed. Minseok had frowned, then. Minseok was completely capable now and Jongin was fucking pliant within a second.

It all faded together, the bubbles of laughter coming from Jongin when Minseok kissed at his stomach (which quickly turned into quiet moans). Minseok was normally always gentle, always tender and sweet and Jongin appreciated it. He never pushed too hard, never pulled for a long amount of time. Jongin was shaking from the cold and the three – had it been four? – fingers inside of him, coaxing pretty sounds from his mouth. Minseok couldn't get enough of him, couldn't quit touching and caressing and kissing.

Jongin melted into the sheets, putty in Minseok’s strong hands as he angled his hips with Jongin’s. Warmth bloomed in his chest, not only because they hadn't had anything like this in over a month, but because Jongin was so fucking in love that he could cry. “If I come quick, it's because of you.” Minseok whispered, fucking into him slowly. Jongin rolled his hips, causing Minseok to hiss and hold him down, “Nin, I swear…”

They were tired, exhausted from such a heavy day. Intertwined like this, lazy and slow and hot felt like ripping off a bandaid at a leisure pace. Jongin whines, “I can't.”

“Can't come?”

Jongin shook his head. Every moment he could barely taste it but things were just moving too slow, too languidly. Minseok pulled out, instructing Jongin onto his stomach. Jongin huffed against the pillow, painfully hard between his legs with his spine dipped slightly. Jongin had to cling onto the sheets when Minseok practically pounded him into the bed, groaning low in his throat. Jongin twisted his face to the side, needy and begging, “A kiss, please.” Minseok gave him three, his mouth lingering over Jongin’s cheek as he got sloppy quickly, pulling out to come over Jongin’s back. Jongin felt stickiness pulsing against his stomach.

Minseok collapsed onto the bed next to him, trying to catch his breath.

“You never let me–”

Minseok pressed a hand against Jongin’s mouth, “Quiet.”

Jongin bit his hand away, “You never let me come on your stomach, you big idiot!”

“It's gross.”

“You just came all over my back!”

Minseok tsked, getting up to fetch a wet towel and wiping him down, which Jongin quickly became pliant for. “I'm sorry.” Minseok smiled, “I won't do it next time.”

“No, it's hot.”

Minseok rolled his eyes, tugging Jongin to his feet to change the sheets. There was something so domestic about Minseok changing the sheets, naked and soft and sleepy. Jongin could watch him do this on a loop for hours.

“Min?” Jongin asked after they’d gotten into bed, half asleep before hitting the pillow. Minseok hummed in response. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, baby.”

+

Junmyeon organized a dinner the proceeding weeks. Everyone that had been invited to Jongin’s and Minseok’s wedding was there. The occasion was Jongin’s birthday. He had told Minseok a week prior that he didn't want to do anything, that staying home with a small cake was enough, but the whole dinner was already planned.

“You always leave me out of the loop.” Jongin had told Minseok the night before.

“It was supposed to be a surprise. Stupid Chanyeol…”

Indeed, stupid Chanyeol had managed to let it slip through drunken lips. You couldn't trust Chanyeol with anything.

The nights slowly winding down, people tired and drunk. Jongin slightly buzzed from the few glasses of wine he’d had. He was mid argument with Jongdae when a glass being tapped at caused the room to hush down.

“Is this your best man speech?” Yifan joked from beside Minseok, who was standing. “Ow!” He hissed when Minseok slapped his chest.

“I just want to say a few things.” Minseok sighed. His eyes quickly searched for Jongin among the tables. Jongin had his head leaned on Jongdae’s shoulder. “There he is!”

“My god, what the fuck is he doing?” Jongdae hissed, while Chanyeol said, “This is so romantic.” At the same time.

Minseok’s hands were clutching at his glass, “I'm sure most of you know how Jongin and I met, or were thrown together.”

“Oh, fucks sake, Minseok, please!” Junmyeon whines.

“I'm not done!” Minseok hissed, “As I was saying, we were thrown together. He more than I, actually. He hated me the first few months we were together, he’d call me Mr Kim like I was his professor, pick fights with me just to get a ride out of me, but you know,” Minseok sighed, “I'm very, very thankful that it's not that way anymore.”

Jongin could hear it slowly beginning to bubble in his throat. The emotion. All the love, all at once. “I don't… I'd thank his father for doing this, but he's a little fucker and doesn't deserve the credit.” Minseok laughed, the ripple of laughter quickly erupting in the room. Jongin’s father, a few seats away, only scoffed. “That's besides the point. I'm babbling. I'm proud of Jongin and I can’t thank him,” Minseok locked eyes with him in a second, “I can't thank you enough for standing right by me through all the stupid shit Junmyeon gets me into.”

“Hey!” Junmyeon hissed.

Minseok blinked quickly, “I love you, kid. Happy birthday.”

Jongin’s cheeks hurt from smiling so fucking hard. The room broke into applause, the sound of bottles being popped open aside from the fact it was well into the night. Minseok came up to him right after, sweeping in for chaste kiss that would be continued at home, “That was so sweet.” Chanyeol wiped at his cheeks. “Jongdae, stand up, quick. You can still steal his thunder!”

“You stand up.” Jongdae grumbled.

Jongin gripped at Minseok’s hand, “You’re such a sap, Min.”

“It's the wine. I wouldn't have ever done that sober.”

“Liar.” Chanyeol cut in.

Minseok sighed, leaning his head against Jongin’s shoulder, “Love you.”

Jongin would never get tired of hearing it.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u to everyone that's been leavin kudos and comments. It motivates me a lot so thank u

**Author's Note:**

> if u finished this....thank u from all my hearts


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